Monday, July 11, 2011

thow him across the room.

The photo that I am currently working from.

Do you ever have days where you look at your partner/spouse and think "Who the hell are you and why am I with you?"

One of those days for me. I love my husband deeply but he is a highly complex man,which is half of why I am SO attracted to him (after almost 13 years) but also half the reason why I want to throw something across the room. And hey I am highly complex, aka difficult, myself so I know he wants to throw something across the room sometimes too (probably me.)

But I feel like in having a child you kinda start to think- man we need to get our shit together. Which I know is just a fantasy but you do start to be like seriously after this long we still argue about the SAME crap.

I once read that couples telling the story of how they met is actually really healthy and an important part of a long lasting relationship. This is because as you are together longer it may become easy to forget why you fell in love with someone and by re-telling this story you get reminded. Maybe that is why I make so much art work about my love and my relationship to remind myself that all the frustrating pull your hair out moments are worth it for being loved in the end.

Who knows....

(BTW I kind of noticed that my blog has gotten a lot less personal and more "professional" and have decided I don't like that. I started this blog because of the very fact that my work is personal and autobiographical so it was an extension of my studio practice and because it led to so many opportunities I started to feel that maybe it need to be more "professional" but then that made me bored. So I feel like I am wanting to go back a bit to my original intention. We will see. No worries artist features will continue.)


Suzanne said...

I totally know what you mean! I feel the same way about my husband -- we've been married for 10 years and still argue about the same crap!

Gabriela said...

I have been married for almost 20 and I get it! is he an artist too?
Normal feelings...but I have had the same shock at times.....just like you said...'who is this?How they get here?lol
I think it's also part of growing and it is very important to know what the basis of how they got there are!
You will feel better! And, oh, they may never grow up!

being@becky said...

I have been married 30 years and i remember actually throwing things across the room, only one time AT him. I call those years "My Angry Years". We have four children, so having a successful marriage involved a lot of juggling and self control, especially emotionally on my part. I really wish I had handled those years with more wisdom and grace, but we all survived and I learned some huge lessons about myself and relationships. So . . . the more you check in with yourself, consider yourself, provide for yourself what you are asking of others (which sounds like that is what you are doing)and you'll get through those hard times when they spring up. Soon you'll notice that they come up less and less. My husband and I still like each other and genuinely enjoy each
other. It gets better because we get better. Take care.

Joetta M. said...

thank you. Intellectually I know that anyone who has had the privilege of being with someone long term also knows the rough and difficult side of it. But I sincerely thank you for reminding me I am not alone.

Sonya Philip said...

Oh yes, I know the feeling only too well. I've been married 12 years and have three kids. I don't know about getting shit together, I notice that we seem to argue "better" - I'm a little less dramatic, he isn't as quick to withdraw. Sometimes I do feel like it's one more thing to manage in my life, but I wouldn't trade having a supportive partner in for anything.

Joetta M. said...

i also would never make that trade. I have some friends in their 30's who are single and am always grateful for my C even with all the challenge. I guess that is how we grow and deepen our love- working through it.