Friday, July 16, 2010

thank you mama's

Instead of commenting in my comments a thank you I just wanted to extend a huge thank you to all of you who emailed or commented on my post yesterday. It is really nice to know that I am not alone, of course I knew that already but it means a lot to really know that.

I realize that many of you are right in there being a need to "mourn" for the person that you were as you become the new person that you will be as a mother. I think I need to let it be ok that I acknowledge that I am mourning that loss- realizing that it does not affect how much I love my son or being a mother it just reflects on the fact that I loved my life prior to him too. I knew life would change with a child and looked forward to that change but of course must also recognize that life is changed forever and that the me, before lil't is forever gone. I actually started a piece last week that says "I am one woman becoming another." and maybe that piece is a way for me to mourn and deal with saying goodbye to that pre-mama Joetta and welcome the new me in.

C and I have made every effort to keep our lives as normal as possible and our friends have been amazing in welcoming lil't into their lives at cook-outs, parties, art openings, and even a birthday at a bar. So with us keeping a semblance of our old social life maybe I was able to hide the change from myself a little bit more.

Of course, I love being a mama or at least I love having lil't in my life he makes me smile and laugh so much and I cannot wait to see him grow into whoever he will become. Actually, I can wait he can take his time and I want to soak in every second as it will pass so quickly.

I do look forward to seeing how this new journey changes my life, my art, and my identity and I so appreciate knowing how many of you are figuring it out too.

Thank you.

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