Looking in and looking out.

As my daily process as an artist shifts from being so focused on making objects and more on thinking about, editing & observing images I slowly move away from the seeming trauma of it all and start to think about how to move forward.

It is strange to go from a serious studio based practice, for many years 8 hours a day 5 days a week, to not even being totally sure what the role of my studio is. My work has always conceptually been based on life and the happening of life... but for the last 8 years the work required endless hours of manual labor to make the work. So I did in fact spend less time in life and more time in my studio, alone with my illusions and desires.

Perhaps there lies the actual beginning of the shift of my practice.

When I did the show the space between a few years back it did many things: revealed the imperfect state of my life and relationship at the time, shifted my way of making significantly, left me feeling raw and exposed and got me out of the bedroom.  

The rawness of the work made me rethink how intimate and specific I was being- I felt I needed to introduce ambiguity and allow more space for the viewer.

The problems in my relationship, at the time, that I was exploring forced me to realize that I often escaped into my work and its mythology. I didn't want to do that anymore. It felt like a lie. I wanted the work to become documents and evidence of a life lived not a life dreamt.

The shift from making changed me more than I could ever now. This work brought me closer to drawing, which over time led me to actual drawing... Which made me question why does it need stitched? Which led me to why does it need drawn? When did the photograph stop being enough? And why did that ever happen. (As I was always initially a photographer.)

It got me out of the bedroom and this left me with: where do I go and why?

Then I went so far out of my work for my show in transition that thought I liked what I had done and liked the work I realized through the way viewers saw the work that I had lost all my intimacy and I was stumped. I felt fucked.

So for the last year and a half since that show... that has been my struggle. How do I create space for the viewer and have some ambiguity in the work but remain honest and intimate?  I do not know yet but with each day of reading, writing, staring, thinking, shooting images, drawing images- I am hoping that I am getting closer to an answer.

Change.

It has been about a year since I last posted here and you can see a dramatic decrease over the year leading up to that post.
I struggled with having nothing to say.
I struggled with feeling completely lost as an artist.
I struggled with balancing a "real job" with a studio practice and all the things I love; writing, curating, talking with artists, interviewing...

 A lot has happened and a lot has changed-   I know not if anyone will even read this post.

But I find myself sitting in my studio, still not sure what I am doing, but finding a voice again. Feeling the desire to reach out and communicate again. To return to the community building that this blog once did for me along with all the other things I had to let go of.

So a few things to say:

I have found myself increasingly being pulled away from textiles- which is terrifying since my entire career is deeply rooted in textiles. But I am not trained as a textile artist, I fell into textiles as it made sense to me conceptually for many years for many works.
Now it does not.
I found myself asking "Why does this need to be stitched?" "Why is the drawing or photograph not enough?" I found myself with no answer. I found myself terrified.

This, truthfully, led me into a tailspin of uncertainty. Who am I if I am not the chick that makes those giant embroideries? Am I a photographer again even though I abandoned that idea so long ago? What the hell am I doing with a pencil in my hand?
It has been a giant struggle and I have not landed but I have started to accept and embrace that I am a different artist now and as always am trying to follow my instincts.

So I hope someone is still there. I hope there is community to still be a part of and help to create.

wow, time. teaching. studio. and stuff.

wow has it really been that long... in truth I am seriously accessing my life and its current choices as studio/ art making/ art timing and all that is in way to short of supply.  But until then I have had a wonderful and way too busy fall.

I had work in 2 shows, had a crazy magical week in Squam as part of the dreamy FALL Squam art workshops.  Met some mad cool people. Flew to Spokane to teach some super rad college kiddos as part of the exhibit I was part of there. And busy lining up all kinds of things. Woo, tired just thinking about it. My studio work has been slow as my life has been busy but I think the thinking and researching time has been valuable. But... a super great thing coming up....

                                                 
 

 I am so PROUD to be an early teacher of part of the amazing and wonderful venture of Ms. Amylou Stein. (yeah many of you know this super rad chick.)  She just, as in seriously JUST, opened a magical and awesome new teaching space in my hood of Somerville. Craftworks is....simply put  a beautiful intimate space pulling in amazing talented teachers to teach you and all your friends about making stuff. Amylou has an awesome "tasting series"  of classes through the rest of the year and regular weekly classes will begin in January. SOOOO tell everybody, stop by say hi, and most important SIGN UP for my little taste....

EMBROIDERY: TEA TOWEL DRAWING

A great one evening introduction to the art of embroidery.  Drawing with a needle on fabric is so satisfying and beautiful.  Come explore with thread and Joetta Maue for an amazing evening of artistry on cloth.  

December 9th 6:15 - 9:15pm 

Sign up here for the fun.

And check out my link to all my teaching with updates on the magical opportunity through Squam next year and some forthcoming classes at the Eliot school. Most of this stuff fills up so sign up early.

AND if you miss me like I miss you...my instagram is pretty active on all things studio so come and follow me at joettamaue

EMBROIDERY: TEA TOWEL DRAWIN


G

35.00

A great one evening introduction to the art of embroidery.  Drawing with a needle on fabric is so satisfying and beautiful.  Come explore with thread and Joetta Maue for an amazing evening of artistry on cloth.  

December 9th 6:15 - 9:15pm 

a window.

so I thought that my window piece was finally done as I have thought many times over the last 2 years. But it never seems to be. It does seem close but still not yet. So...I have come to the conclusion it needs some words. Small delicate words in the window much like this... (excuse the still unfinished gallery.)
these are what I was thinking... thoughts?

a door, a trap, glass, dirt, a view, a barrier, a way out, a place in...

home. home. a screen, sunlight, a storm,  a calm, covered, bare...

have you finally found home when the inside is equal to the outside?

life, death, yearn, repel, open, closed, in between.

subtle smoke.

 

Amazing drawings made from smoke and soot.  The leftovers of an occurrence.

 

 

 

So beautiful, quiet and inspiring.

 

read more about about artist Claudio Parmiggiani here.

the managers of us.

interesting sounding book.... Check out this blurb about Larry Gagosian inspired and in reference to a this new book about the Gallery world.

Probably infuriating and interesting.

bear witness to my labor.

So little done this week. I am literally sitting in front of an entire month of house guests. Though this is wonderful- as T will be showered with family love.  It is also a bit of craziness in my life. I don't mind guests I actually quite like it. But the disarray of my space, schedule and T's schedule does bear a burden. Alas I am trying to let it go and take some advantage of the freedom of not having to pick up/drop off/cook for T. (though C gets most of the cooking credit.)

I did have a great day in the studio last week, drawing bears witness. This week I have popped in for short bouts. Had a nice studio visit too. I have been wanting to invite folks into the studio to get some discourse about this new work and I hope that results in me finding some clarity. Dialogue usually does.  This convo was good as it reminded be of how wonderful it is to lean, shelf and informally present art. How do you draw out good conversations from your studio visit?

old work inspired image.

thinking about mending...

So I found all these lovely "art" images of mending. From old to new and all lovely.

other posts do do with mending here and here.

authentic

After a week away in Martha's Vineyard I am "back to life, back to reality..." 

sort of- I actually get 2 extra days to be in the studio before reality (aka job) really returns. Today got off to a slow start as I am pretty absorbed in my book, hold still, and I am always distracted and time sucked into looking for teaching jobs that don't exist and are insane competitive but I waste the time anyway.

Once I got into the studio I started a new drawing. I didn't feel like it was working so I put it aside either to begin again or salvage the paper. As I was perusing my image archives I got quite taken with a photo in my iphoto galleries and a new drawing was born. It is not done yet but I am super happy with it so far. I have a little more work to do in the body and am undecided on the hair. Most of my other drawings have an additional element in it. Almost like 2 images collaged...so maybe this one will end up with something too.  Just going with the flow.

I am loving making these drawings and hope that they find a home in the end. A place to exhibit and people to support them. It is scary changing your practice so much as I will no longer be of interest for some people as the fiber is fading out as a less dominant medium for me. But you have to be authentic and right now these feel oh so good. 

But with that said I did spend about 3 hours stitching today too (on my never ending piece) and that was a nice change of pace.