Looking in and looking out.

As my daily process as an artist shifts from being so focused on making objects and more on thinking about, editing & observing images I slowly move away from the seeming trauma of it all and start to think about how to move forward.

It is strange to go from a serious studio based practice, for many years 8 hours a day 5 days a week, to not even being totally sure what the role of my studio is. My work has always conceptually been based on life and the happening of life... but for the last 8 years the work required endless hours of manual labor to make the work. So I did in fact spend less time in life and more time in my studio, alone with my illusions and desires.

Perhaps there lies the actual beginning of the shift of my practice.

When I did the show the space between a few years back it did many things: revealed the imperfect state of my life and relationship at the time, shifted my way of making significantly, left me feeling raw and exposed and got me out of the bedroom.  

The rawness of the work made me rethink how intimate and specific I was being- I felt I needed to introduce ambiguity and allow more space for the viewer.

The problems in my relationship, at the time, that I was exploring forced me to realize that I often escaped into my work and its mythology. I didn't want to do that anymore. It felt like a lie. I wanted the work to become documents and evidence of a life lived not a life dreamt.

The shift from making changed me more than I could ever now. This work brought me closer to drawing, which over time led me to actual drawing... Which made me question why does it need stitched? Which led me to why does it need drawn? When did the photograph stop being enough? And why did that ever happen. (As I was always initially a photographer.)

It got me out of the bedroom and this left me with: where do I go and why?

Then I went so far out of my work for my show in transition that thought I liked what I had done and liked the work I realized through the way viewers saw the work that I had lost all my intimacy and I was stumped. I felt fucked.

So for the last year and a half since that show... that has been my struggle. How do I create space for the viewer and have some ambiguity in the work but remain honest and intimate?  I do not know yet but with each day of reading, writing, staring, thinking, shooting images, drawing images- I am hoping that I am getting closer to an answer.

Change.

It has been about a year since I last posted here and you can see a dramatic decrease over the year leading up to that post.
I struggled with having nothing to say.
I struggled with feeling completely lost as an artist.
I struggled with balancing a "real job" with a studio practice and all the things I love; writing, curating, talking with artists, interviewing...

 A lot has happened and a lot has changed-   I know not if anyone will even read this post.

But I find myself sitting in my studio, still not sure what I am doing, but finding a voice again. Feeling the desire to reach out and communicate again. To return to the community building that this blog once did for me along with all the other things I had to let go of.

So a few things to say:

I have found myself increasingly being pulled away from textiles- which is terrifying since my entire career is deeply rooted in textiles. But I am not trained as a textile artist, I fell into textiles as it made sense to me conceptually for many years for many works.
Now it does not.
I found myself asking "Why does this need to be stitched?" "Why is the drawing or photograph not enough?" I found myself with no answer. I found myself terrified.

This, truthfully, led me into a tailspin of uncertainty. Who am I if I am not the chick that makes those giant embroideries? Am I a photographer again even though I abandoned that idea so long ago? What the hell am I doing with a pencil in my hand?
It has been a giant struggle and I have not landed but I have started to accept and embrace that I am a different artist now and as always am trying to follow my instincts.

So I hope someone is still there. I hope there is community to still be a part of and help to create.

wow, time. teaching. studio. and stuff.

wow has it really been that long... in truth I am seriously accessing my life and its current choices as studio/ art making/ art timing and all that is in way to short of supply.  But until then I have had a wonderful and way too busy fall.

I had work in 2 shows, had a crazy magical week in Squam as part of the dreamy FALL Squam art workshops.  Met some mad cool people. Flew to Spokane to teach some super rad college kiddos as part of the exhibit I was part of there. And busy lining up all kinds of things. Woo, tired just thinking about it. My studio work has been slow as my life has been busy but I think the thinking and researching time has been valuable. But... a super great thing coming up....

                                                 
 

 I am so PROUD to be an early teacher of part of the amazing and wonderful venture of Ms. Amylou Stein. (yeah many of you know this super rad chick.)  She just, as in seriously JUST, opened a magical and awesome new teaching space in my hood of Somerville. Craftworks is....simply put  a beautiful intimate space pulling in amazing talented teachers to teach you and all your friends about making stuff. Amylou has an awesome "tasting series"  of classes through the rest of the year and regular weekly classes will begin in January. SOOOO tell everybody, stop by say hi, and most important SIGN UP for my little taste....

EMBROIDERY: TEA TOWEL DRAWING

A great one evening introduction to the art of embroidery.  Drawing with a needle on fabric is so satisfying and beautiful.  Come explore with thread and Joetta Maue for an amazing evening of artistry on cloth.  

December 9th 6:15 - 9:15pm 

Sign up here for the fun.

And check out my link to all my teaching with updates on the magical opportunity through Squam next year and some forthcoming classes at the Eliot school. Most of this stuff fills up so sign up early.

AND if you miss me like I miss you...my instagram is pretty active on all things studio so come and follow me at joettamaue

EMBROIDERY: TEA TOWEL DRAWIN


G

35.00

A great one evening introduction to the art of embroidery.  Drawing with a needle on fabric is so satisfying and beautiful.  Come explore with thread and Joetta Maue for an amazing evening of artistry on cloth.  

December 9th 6:15 - 9:15pm 

a window.

so I thought that my window piece was finally done as I have thought many times over the last 2 years. But it never seems to be. It does seem close but still not yet. So...I have come to the conclusion it needs some words. Small delicate words in the window much like this... (excuse the still unfinished gallery.)
these are what I was thinking... thoughts?

a door, a trap, glass, dirt, a view, a barrier, a way out, a place in...

home. home. a screen, sunlight, a storm,  a calm, covered, bare...

have you finally found home when the inside is equal to the outside?

life, death, yearn, repel, open, closed, in between.

subtle smoke.

 

Amazing drawings made from smoke and soot.  The leftovers of an occurrence.

 

 

 

So beautiful, quiet and inspiring.

 

read more about about artist Claudio Parmiggiani here.

the managers of us.

interesting sounding book.... Check out this blurb about Larry Gagosian inspired and in reference to a this new book about the Gallery world.

Probably infuriating and interesting.

bear witness to my labor.

So little done this week. I am literally sitting in front of an entire month of house guests. Though this is wonderful- as T will be showered with family love.  It is also a bit of craziness in my life. I don't mind guests I actually quite like it. But the disarray of my space, schedule and T's schedule does bear a burden. Alas I am trying to let it go and take some advantage of the freedom of not having to pick up/drop off/cook for T. (though C gets most of the cooking credit.)

I did have a great day in the studio last week, drawing bears witness. This week I have popped in for short bouts. Had a nice studio visit too. I have been wanting to invite folks into the studio to get some discourse about this new work and I hope that results in me finding some clarity. Dialogue usually does.  This convo was good as it reminded be of how wonderful it is to lean, shelf and informally present art. How do you draw out good conversations from your studio visit?

old work inspired image.

thinking about mending...

So I found all these lovely "art" images of mending. From old to new and all lovely.

other posts do do with mending here and here.

authentic

After a week away in Martha's Vineyard I am "back to life, back to reality..." 

sort of- I actually get 2 extra days to be in the studio before reality (aka job) really returns. Today got off to a slow start as I am pretty absorbed in my book, hold still, and I am always distracted and time sucked into looking for teaching jobs that don't exist and are insane competitive but I waste the time anyway.

Once I got into the studio I started a new drawing. I didn't feel like it was working so I put it aside either to begin again or salvage the paper. As I was perusing my image archives I got quite taken with a photo in my iphoto galleries and a new drawing was born. It is not done yet but I am super happy with it so far. I have a little more work to do in the body and am undecided on the hair. Most of my other drawings have an additional element in it. Almost like 2 images collaged...so maybe this one will end up with something too.  Just going with the flow.

I am loving making these drawings and hope that they find a home in the end. A place to exhibit and people to support them. It is scary changing your practice so much as I will no longer be of interest for some people as the fiber is fading out as a less dominant medium for me. But you have to be authentic and right now these feel oh so good. 

But with that said I did spend about 3 hours stitching today too (on my never ending piece) and that was a nice change of pace.

brought to you by a mama artist moment...

I have one of those silly mom/artist moments that truly sort of made my week/month and so on... so why not share. 2 things to know....

1. My son is a super creative kid that loves art and drawing.

2. I am obsessed with Sally Mann and am reading her new biography Hold Still.

So when T came in this Sunday morning to tell me that "there was a mommy daddy book on the black chair."  I say "thats mama's book"  T says " I was looking at it"  I say "ok. you can look at it that's fine. Just be careful with it."

Go back to sleep for an hour.

Wake-up.  "what ya doing?"

t: Mama I am drawing this little girl. I like this picture

And I look. He is drawing Virginia from the image in the book.

me: Oh that's Virginia and on the other page that's an image of Emmett. Those are the kiddos of the photographer.

t: Why are they naked?

me: They live on a big farm in the middle of Virginia.  They have a big area to swim and a cliff that overlooks it. No one is around for a long time. If we had a place like that you and me would be swimming naked too.  

t: Ok.

Proceeds to draw the farm, water and cliff.
Then draws Emmett.

My mama artist heart was exploding with love, pride and artistic joy.

first post...

That comment I made yesterday made me curious so here is the very first post I ever wrote...going on 8 years ago.  I am simultaneously embarrassed and envious of how un-self-conscious it is... Also kind of amazed by the similarities between the studio walls then and now and so recognize the voice of that artist that I was.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

ok, so i am finally doing it. Starting a blog.
everybody has been telling me to do it. So here goes.

I am all alone this week. No Hubby ( aka C).
And I left my phone in nyc so I cannot even call him or my mom for company.
Lame.

I would think it would be easier to be by myself for 5 days.
Let me tell you it sucks.
I cannot wait to be done with my thesis so I am in the city full time and say goodbye to this lonely little
apartment with no furniture in massachusetts for good.

So here is the lowdown. I am an artist, I am in my last year of graduate school.
I live 3 days a week where I go to school in Massachusetts and live the rest of the time in Brooklyn with my husband, he is a cutie, and the most adorable fabulous 3 cats in the world, and a fish. I would rather be in Brooklyn pretty much all the time but alas I must finish what I started.

These are some images of my studio earlier this week.
But it is already old news. I have rearranged everything and will have to update.
I am trying to figure out how to group stuff so....I rearrange always.

movement

 I remember when I use to write here everyday. I remember how wonderful that was. 


As maybe some of you have noticed it has been very quiet here. I have written a few times about the struggle of what this blog is to me right now or needs to be and my attempt towards understanding that and how it needs to change.

I considered "officially" closing the blog as I have seen so many people do over the last year. But that just seemed wrong. Then I questioned what is it? This blog? It started as an experiment and in reality an online sort of diary.  A confessional writing exercise that made sense with my art practice.  Then it became a "journal" more about critical writing, thoughts and work of talented fiber artists...I began to be afraid or timid about sharing my own personal journey- how was it to live up to all of this amazing art and amazing artists that I was writing about? It became more about them and less about me.

It opened up doors and provided opportunities.

Then my life changed... so much.

Child born, life moved and uprooted, full time job came back, marriage struggled....

As my statement says   "the autobiographical drives the work and is necessary for it to exist" so as my life dramatically shifted into the realm of a working mother with a broken relationship my work and needs as an artist shifted.  My time and energy was splintered, my art work struggling. The last thing I wanted to do was look at talented artists and write about them. So then what was the purpose of this place. Everyone came here to read about these other artists? And why did that cripple me so much?

In these last few weeks I have really yearned for this place again.  This dialogue which in reality is mostly with myself. This blog has always been for me, my personal journey, for me to archive artists, for me to make community, for me to share my work, my practice, my thoughts. When I started it literally no one except my mom was reading it and I still got up everyday and wrote. Makes me want to revise those first weeks of blogging...

I have no idea what this blog is anymore, but I do know it still has breath in it. So maybe what to expect:

I will be honest I am still not very interested in writing about other artists. Just revisiting the ones that constantly inspire me; Sally Mann, Louise Bourgeois, Tracey Emin, Annette Messeger, etc.

I am mostly not doing fiber right now and it feels really good.

I am drawing with pencil, shooting with a digital camera, and have no idea where I am going but know that I am moving.

And movement feels good.

Alice Neel...

 

Someone I have been looking at a lot in this moment of "what the f*** is Alice Neel.
I was so lucky and delighted to see that David Zwirner was having a show of her drawings in NYC when I was there last month.  So I dragged my not feeling well 4 year old to the gallery and it was so worth it.

I love the directness of her drawing style, her viewers direct gaze and her admittance to the domestic world that she lived and worked in. As a very real woman who married multiple times, had a handful of children and never ever stopped making her art. I am inspired by her perseverance and her ability to gaze in a way that few were doing at the time.

 

Of course I like her pregnant women series (none in the show) very much but also really found the images she drew of children powerful. The show is up until the end of the week and so worth it. I am really loving drawing work right now it is so simple and direct and raw. 

My problem comes with the fact that it then needs to be behind glass, I wish I could figure out a less permanent way to resolve mine in the gallery. But I will take Alice's work however they give it to me.

sharing...

I have so much to say and so much to share. The issue of life is that I do not have the time and energy to get to sharing it and saying it here. This winter has been such a weird one. Usually winter is when you can really get stuff done in the studio and sort of refresh but with the TERRIBLE weather and the unexpected solo show my winter was actually total chaos.

 

So at this point I am still just catching up and recovering. I am trying not to be too hard on myself about the fact that the weather, taxes, weird appts, and sickness has kept me from the studio as I was extremely prolific leading up to my show. But it is hard to give myself that space.  As an artist you always feel like you need to be in the studio to be doing anything. But instead I have been looking, reading, researching, questioning, talking, journaling, reviewing... really trying to figure out what is next for me. 

It has been a weird few months and I was frustrated with the end result of my show. I loved the work. I thought it looked great. But somehow it became too formal, less intimate and immediate then previous solo shows of mine, The frames though appropriate for the work pushed people back and away from the content.  The small space of the gallery behind a larger space and show changed the experience of the viewer in a way I have not dealt with before. All of these things are so important for me to know and think about as I moved forward in this new direction in my work and try to figure it out.

So since I have not been making much what I have been doing is updating my website. It is far from done but a new header pager and some new drawing galleries (more coming) new photo galleries and not yet but also coming new fiber works. So feel free to check it out as a work in progress.

I have been reading the book Letters to a Young Poet by Rilke. If you are an artist and have somehow missed this gem of a book like I did. Go get it now. Get a pen a big cup of tea and read.....

"For those who are near you are far away...and this shows that the space around you is begining to grow vast. And if what is near you is far away, then your vastness if already among the stars and is very great; be happy about your growth, in which of course you can't take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind..."

I am also really looking forward to being at NYU again teaching as a visiting artist (more time NOT in the studio though and Squam in early June.)

storied stitch.

Looks like a great show with lots of familiar faces...

The Storied Stitch  

 Azarian McCullough Art Gallery

March 31st through April 19th

Needlework has a rich history in America. From early native Americans to the first European colonists, needlework has been used both as a record and as a means of communication. Family history and traditions are remembered in needlecraft, embroidered details communicate messages of status, wealth, and beauty.

Modern needlework may utilize the same techniques, but the message has been broadened. The Storied Stitch provides a space for that message. Here we see traditional techniques in uncommon contexts, reminding us of our past while exploring current issues. We also see the stitch pushed beyond the familiar shape, stretching and sketching and living in a new form. What begins as an intimate craft results in work that reveals a narrative both personal and universal.

Megan Canning

Orly Cogan

Michelle Kingdom

Katrina Majkut

Tamar Stone

Welcome reception Wednesday April 8 from 4:30 to 6:30, with an artist talk beginning at 5:30.
Closing reception Sunday April 19 from 2:00 to 4:00, with an artist talk beginning at 3:00.

More info here.

abstracted interior.

I like this work by Marsha Cottrell.  Made using office printers and fine papers. They are so minimal but I can imagine in person very rich with flaw, tonality and having an essence of magic in the banal.

See more here.

See in person now here. The installation shots on the galleries website really add to your understanding of the work, scale and how they relate.