Thursday, July 15, 2010
I think I need a little mending...mending of my mind and spirit.
I will admit that I am having a super difficult time mentally adjusting to the fact that I use to spend 6-8 hours everyday in my studio and since the babes arrival essentially run there to shop for supplies.
I miss the studio, I miss NPR, I miss having a sense of what the hell I was doing with my day.
But with the little man I am consumed with his needs and exhausted by them and then...
when I have a free moment he will be in the best mood and totally adorable so I don't want to leave him.
I am the type of person that needs- that thrives on routine and I have not been able to work one out yet with the babe. We try but it just is so different since he is unpredictable and each day I have different needs too.
I know it is possible to figure it out but I simply have not yet and it sucks. I feel like I am not being as good as a mother as I could be and I am definitely not even able to recognize the other me, the me before motherhood.
I have declared this week that it is VERY hard to be a mom, but VERY easy to love your child.
So I am just figuring out how to use that love to ease my mind in other things.
Posted by Joetta M. at 9:49 AM