comfort... from fatigue, from the heat, from never knowing what the heck I am doing.
You know, normal existence.
Yesterday, I took a much needed "personal" day. Got my toes painted, ate a great baguette sandwich, and saw Julia and Julia. The AC of the theater was SO great in this horrible heat we've got here in the city. The day of decompression was a relief and comfort.
Sometimes, I wonder what the heck was I thinking when I chose this unpredictable crazy path of artist. Not that I actually chose it, it sort of just chose me.
And I get so afraid that I will not be able to keep it up. It can be a little scary when you have everything you've ever dreamt of at 31. You get very afraid of losing them and very afraid that as life changes you will not be able to maintain the life you have created, physically, financially, and emotionally.
In those times it is so nice to take comfort in a silly movie, a long hug, a beautiful day, and hopes for the future.
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2 comments:
word. i know exactly where you're coming from on this. it can be endlessly stressful... dealing in the big unknowns pretty much daily and constantly second-guessing yourself, constantly taking risks. but to have the life you've always dreamed of... trust it. it's gotta be a good, solid one right?
trust. it is a good thing.
thanks:)
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